Reaction Jokes

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    12 year old Scotch !

    Hot 6 years ago

    Santa walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.
    Santa takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender: "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"
    Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. Santa takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch.
    Again, same reaction from Santa. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. Santa takes a sip and is most satisfied.
    All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says:
    "hey mishter, tashte this!"
    Santa obliges...he promptly spits it out.
    "It tastes like piss," Santa shoots back at the more...

    Chemistry song 15

    Hot 3 years ago

    Iron the Red Atom Molecule
    (to the tune of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer")

    There was Cobalt and Argon and Carbon and Fluorine
    Silver and Boron and Neon and Bromine
    But do you recall
    the most famous element of all?

    Iron the red atom molecule
    had a very shiny orbital
    And if you ever saw him
    You'd enjoy his magnetic glow
    All of the other molecules
    used to laugh and call him Ferrum
    They never let poor Iron
    join in any reaction games.
    Then one inert Chemistry eve
    Santa came to say
    Iron with your orbital so bright
    won't you catalyze the reaction tonight?
    Then how the atoms reacted
    and combined in twos and threes
    Iron the red atom molecule
    you'll go down in Chemistry!

    It's chemical

    Hot 5 years ago

    April 1, 1988: The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered
    by physicists at Turgid University. The element, tentatively named
    Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic
    number is 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron,
    75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an
    atomic mass number of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus
    by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called
    memoons.
    Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
    detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is
    present. According to Dr. M. Langour, one of the discoverers of the element, a
    very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes less
    than a second take over four days.
    Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at more...

    Scotch Expert

    Hot 6 years ago

    A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch.
    The bartender thinks, "This guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.
    The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender, "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"
    Still unimpressed, the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch.
    The patron takes a sip...same reaction.
    But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the patron.
    Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied.
    All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching.
    He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says: "Shay mishter, tashte this!" The patron obliges...he promptly spits it out.
    "That tastes more...

    The Test!

    Hot 6 years ago

    A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch.The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.The patron takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch.The patron takes a sip...same reaction.But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the patron.Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied.All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching.He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says:"Shay mishter, tashte this!" The patron obliges...he promptly spits it out."That tastes like pee!," he shoots back at the drunk.The drunk more...

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