Element Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It's chemical

    Hot 5 years ago

    April 1, 1988: The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered
    by physicists at Turgid University. The element, tentatively named
    Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic
    number is 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron,
    75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an
    atomic mass number of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus
    by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called
    memoons.
    Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
    detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is
    present. According to Dr. M. Langour, one of the discoverers of the element, a
    very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes less
    than a second take over four days.
    Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at more...

    Element Name: MAN
    Symbol: XY
    Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
    Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging. Samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
    Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by dousing with alcohol.
    Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
    Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

    Element Name: WOMAN
    Symbol: WO
    Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
    Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
    Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
    Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
    Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

    Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA-The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a more...

    AMES, IA-The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
    materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named
    Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight
    of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice
    neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of
    312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that
    involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.
    Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can
    be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into
    contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium
    caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction
    time is less than one second.
    Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at
    which time it does not actually decay, but instead more...

  • Recent Activity