Overweight Jokes / Recent Jokes

All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

What do you call an overweight ET? An extra cholesterol!

Obesity has been getting a lot of bad press recently. Research conducted entirely by thin people, has uncovered justification for their own masochistic obsessive-compulsive, fun-killing anal retentative lifestyles. One of the great problems with research, of course, is that the researchers tend to find what they're looking for. And when they find it, they stop looking for other things. It's important, therefore, not to believe research by pressure groups that start with preconceived ideas. Examples of findings not to believe: research on the benefits of exercise by phys. Ed. Department, on the hazards of cholesterol by an anorexic and on the joy of obesity by an overweight G. P. The whole obesity phobia was started by some statistics from a life insurance company purporting to show that people who were overweight didn't live as long as people who were underweight. These were very raw figures and led to some unwarranted conclusions. First, it was assumed that if the overweight group more...

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control. 2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. 3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand". 4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them. 5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. 6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. 7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful. 9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around whenthere's a spider or a wasp involved. 10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the more...

The scale at the doctor´s office has a chart showing the desired weight per height. Thanks to it, I now know my problem. I´m not overweight; I´m too short.

Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!

An Overweight Woman Came To A Doctor And Asked "Dr. What Shall I Do I'm Becoming Overweight Day By Day?" The Dr. Said "U Take These Pills And Skip Another Day Till 1 Month" Actually The Dr. Meant (Skip) Not To Eat The Pills Other Day But The Fat Lady Meant The Skipping With The Skipping Rope. After 1 Month She Came To The Dr. The Dr Was Almost Fainted Seeing Her Loose So Much Of Weight. The Woman Told "Dr The Pills Were Ok, But The Skipping Whole Day Made It"