Opera Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman? A: Stage makeup. Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him. Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche? A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche. Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. A: She was known as the deep C diva. Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone. Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? A: About 10 pounds. Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice. Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell? Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb? A: more...

How are opera singers and sailors alike?
They both have to handle the high seas(Cs)!

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back,
and instead of bleeding, he sings.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Opera!
Opera who?
Opera-tunity, and you thought opportunity only knocked once!

It was the interval at the Opera when Mrs. Sternberg rose from her seat and called: "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?!"
A man in a tuxedo pushed his way towards her. "I'm a doctor" he said.
"Oh, doctor," she said, "Have I got just the loveliest daughter for you...."