Opera Jokes / Recent Jokes

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker
W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace
3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood
John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home
Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine
3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants
Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota more...

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood. John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home. Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine. Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild. 3M, J. C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera. Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!

The cricketer had been forced to go to the opera by his wife and her friends.

A team mate asked him,' What was it about?'

'I don't know,' admitted the cricketer.' I was asleep for the first two innings!'

Quite a number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 under the baton of Milton Katims. Now at this point, you must understand two things:
1. There's a quite long segment in this symphony where the basses don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.
2. There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.

It had been decided that during this performance, once the bass players had played their parts in the opening of the symphony, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage, rather than sit on thier stools looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes.
Once they got backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street and quaff a few brews. When they got there, a European nobleman recognized that they were musicians, and bought them several rounds of drinks. Two of the bassists passed out, and the more...

A few suggestions for corporate mergers: - PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Keebler, to be called Poly-Warner-Cracker

- Yahoo and Netscape-to be called Net'nYahoo

- 3M and Good year, to be called MMM-Good

- Knotts Berry Farm and National Organization for Women-to be called Knott NOW

- Federal Express and UPS, to be called FED UP

- Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs.

- Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild.

- John Deere & Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi

- Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home

- Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining: Mine, All Mine

- 3M, J.C. Penney, Metropolitan Opera Company: 3 Penney Opera

- Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants: Poupon Pants

- Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining: Zip Audi Do-Da

- Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay more...

Mergers that may or may not make the world a funnier place:

There was a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity known as:' Hale Mary Fuller Grace.'

Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape....Net'n'yahoo.... (say it out loud) A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called. ... Fairwell Honeychild.

It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market. .. reproductive organs.

There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called. .. Poly-Warner-Cracker.

Other Merger's we'd like to see:

3M & Goodyear.......................... mmmGood
John Deere & more...

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting they are finished until next time...