Olympics Jokes / Recent Jokes

The U.S. Olympic Committee has added the president of Xerox and the chairman of Electronic Arts to its board of directors. We should clarify: the EA chairman joined first. The Xerox guy just copied him.

"Dear Santa:
One of the saddest stories at Christmas is how Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, wasn't allowed to join in all the reindeer games. Rudolph became a hero, but we never actually found out what sort of games are reindeer games. What kinds of games are they?"
Well, Peter, there are reindeer games, and then there are The Reindeer Games. It's the difference between playing softball in the park with your buddies, and participating in the Olympics. Anyone can play reindeer games any time they want (even if you're not really a reindeer). But it takes a special sort of deer to have the drive to be in the Reindeer Games.
Again like the Olympics, there are a number of categories in the Reindeer Games, but here are some of the most popular:
LONG JUMP - Since our reindeer can actually fly, you can imagine the distances we get on this one.
100 COUNTRY DASH - Each year, our computers randomly generate a list of 100 countries, and the reindeer see who can more...

Women's boxing was added to the 2012 Olympics in London. If any British women get their teeth knocked out, we'll see if anyone notices.

Despiteprotests that golf is an elitist and sexist sport, golf will return as an Olympicsport in 2016. To fend off criticism,Golf officials agreed to allow women in the clubhouse during the Olympics to servedrinks.

The mayor of Rio said the city has a long way to go to make the city safe for the Olympics. In other words, it's like Chicago, but with the Olympics.

Why is there no Mexican Olympics in Mexico?
Because all of the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in the United States.

In an unprecedented tragedy, Saudi Arabia lost its entire synchronized swimming team.

On their first day of practice they all drowned in their burkhas.