Olympic Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

    Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

    "Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"

    "There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

    "What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.

    "Gold of course", says the man proudly.

    The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

    Why are there no Olympic Team Cuban swimmers? Cause all the Cuban who can swim are here already!

    Endurance Swimmer

    Hot 10 months ago

    A man met a gorgeous woman and knew immediately that he wanted to marry her. "But, we don't know anything about each other," she said.
    "That doesn't matter," he replied. "We'll learn about each other as we go along."
    So, she agreed. They married and went to a beautiful resort for their honeymoon.
    One morning, as they were laying by the pool, he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the diving board, and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by three rotations in a jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.
    "Wow," she said, "That was incredible!"
    "I used to be an Olympic diving champion," he explained. "See, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along."
    With that, she got up, jumped into the pool, and started swimming laps. After about thirty laps, she more...

    A man met a beautiful

    Hot 3 years ago

    A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out
    and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.She said," That was incredible!"He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along!"So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.He said, more...

    Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."
    Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.
    The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."
    The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."
    The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"
    The second more...

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