Olympics Jokes

why are there no mexicans in the olympics?
Because any mexican who can already run, jump, or swim is already in the U.S.

Hiroshima plans to make a bid for the 2020 Summer Olympics. Just to prove how serious they are, they already started construction by making a giant hole.

Michael Phelps acknowledged that a photo of him smoking pot is authentic. The good news is that he smoked it a half second faster than the French.

Does it seem strange to you that the Olympics, the oldest and most famous sporting event, is the one televised event that the competitors don't get cash. In fact, if you have ever made any money at all of your sport, you are disqualified. Its like, you win a gold medal and your like "So, what's my reward?" and they're like "this nice shiny medal." "you mean I don't get any money at all?" "no we frown upon that." "so I wasted a week of my life for nothing?" "but you get this shiny medal" "but-" "SHINY!" I tell you that medal would be on e-bay so fast. And did you ever notice how they have a count of what countries have the most medals? The U.S. always wins but then again, we're like 49 countries for the price of 1. Wyoming doesn't count towards our athletes because lets face it, smoky bears not gettin' any younger. You know, the Olympics always managed to keep the old traditions alive like lighting the more...

Q: What's better than winning 4 gold medals at the special olympics? A: Not being retarded!