Newlywed Jokes / Recent Jokes

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, were going to be three in this house instead of two."Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "Im glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"

"Of course not, dear - I love you much more!"

Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"

Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok... Let epsilon be greater than zero..."

Where did the newlywed horses stay? In the bridle suite!

Wife:' The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.'
Husband:' Which is this?'

Newlywed:' Do you want dinner?' Spouse:' Sure, what are my choices?' Newlywed;' Yes and No.'

First guy (proudly):' My wife's an angel!' Second guy:' You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

A husband said to his wife,' No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.'

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain more...

/Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain more...

Conversation at the club had turned to sex and the techniques thereof.

"But should I talk to my wife while making love?" asked newlywed Fred.

"Certainly," counseled an older member, "if you happen to be near a phone."