Montreal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Boss: Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal. Johnson: Montreal! "Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!"
Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there!
Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"

Boss: Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal. Johnson: Montreal! "Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!" Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there! Johnson: Without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?"

Montreal Gazette's Top 50 Jokes from the 1999 Just For Laughs festival.
1. (On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
2. I used to smoke pot until I came to the conclusion... what was that conclusion, anyway?
3. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
4. Women like posh hotels; there's more for them to steal. Take them to a posh hotel and they all turn into the Artful Dodger.
5. And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on
Satan."
6. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."
7. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you're got millions of pals out there. Type in, more...