A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker.
“I win!” said Johnson, at which point Henderson threw down his cards.
“That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!!!”
“How can you tell?”
Phillips asked.“Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.
Both assassins were know by their three names.
Both names more...
Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow.
Department of Unusual Marketing: Johnson & Johnson has a continuing contract with a number of Web sites devoted to the stock market. When the stock market falls by at least 100 points, banner ads for the company's headache remedies appear on the sites.
News Releases I Never Got Around to Finishing: "The recent U.S. presidential election left a number of people wondering if their vote really counts. But with GetMusic's new music video voting tool, Hot or Not, every vote matters. Launching today on GetMusic.com (www.get-music.com)... "
Job Title of the Month: A Build-A-Bear Workshop is a retail chain that allows customers to design their very own stuffed bear. Maxine Clark is Chief Executive Bear.
And speaking of animals, The You're Probably Not Surprised Award to rapper Snoop Dogg's new venture, a porn video called Doggystyle. While the Dogg performs in the video, he keeps his clothes on.
Our Say What? more...
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."Johnson: "But I want you to."Wife: "But why?"Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?"
"98!" Johnson announced proudly.
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.. .
Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You're practically one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?"
The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don't hurt!"