Posh Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Posh Theatre

    Hot 5 years ago

    A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge.The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."

    A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and read from the menu. "I`d like one under-cooked egg so that it`s runny, and one over-cooked egg so that it`s tough and hard to eat. I`d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it`s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee." "That`s a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult." The guest replied sarcastically, "It can`t be that difficult because that`s exactly what you brought me yesterday!"

    Q: What do the England footbal team and Posh Spice both have in common?
    A: They've both been screwed by David Beckham.

    Gentleman and the Waiter

    Hot 5 years ago

    THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT USAGE OF OBSCENE LANGUAGE IN A SEXUAL
    CONTEXT. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE BELOW THE ACCEPTABLE AGE OF 18 YEARS. THE
    AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY VIOLATION OR IGNORANCE OF THIS WARNING.

    There was once a posh gentleman who went to this luxurious, and highly
    pompous restaurant for a lavish dinner. He called a waiter, asked for the
    menu card, and then ordered a French soup a la' creme. Moments later, the
    waiter returned with the soup with his index finger poked inside the
    soup-bowl. Seeing this disgusting sight, the gentleman was dismayed, but
    with regard to his gentlemanly manner, remained quiet. He then ordered for
    apetizers, and the main course.
    During each of his courses, he noticed that the waiter was always poking his
    thumb into the dish. This time, the man was utterly annoyed, but still
    stayed calm, forcing his urging desire to punch the waiter, to regress.
    After enjoying more...

    David Beckham decides to try horseback riding, even though he hasn't had any
    lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse
    immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace as
    Posh stands back in admiration, but then he begins to slip from the saddle.
    In terror he grabs the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. He
    tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of
    the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping
    rider.
    Finally, he gives up his frail grasp and he attempts to leap away from the horse
    and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the
    stirrup, now he is now at the mercy of the horses pounding hooves as his head is
    struck against the ground over and over.
    Posh stands there frantic, unable to do anything to help as his head is battered
    against the ground. He is mere more...

  • Recent Activity