Mcdonalds Jokes / Recent Jokes
My brother and I took a few road trips across the Missouri-Kansas-Colorado strip over the years. Alan really liked to stop at Mcdonalds for lunch. He'd get a large Iced-Tea "to go".
About fifty to eighty miles down the road, we'd pull into the next McDonalds, and go through the drive-thru. At that time, McDonalds would give free refills for iced tea. And that is what my brother would order! One time, he got seven (7) refills, starting in Lawrence, Kansas, and going all the way to Denver, for a drink he bought in Kansas City!
This was during those HOT summers, and anyone who has driven I-70 across Kansas in August knows exactly what I mean!
A Mother and her five year old son were headed to McDonald's one day. On the way they passed a car accident. As was the tradition when they see
something terrible like that, they say a prayer for those who might be hurt.The mother pointed and said to her son, "We should pray."From the back seat she heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to
McDonald's."
Here's a gross one:What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds? They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5, 000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29". "I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten more...
Yo mama's like...- Yo mama's like a T. V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. - Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. - Yo mama's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. - Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine... five cents a blow. - Yo mama's like Chinese food... sweet, sour, and cheap. - Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. - Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away. - Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. - Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy. - Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit. - Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. - Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner. - Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day. - Yo mama's like a 747, more...
Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of McNuggets. A spokesman for McDonalds said that this was unusual because most customers don’t call 911 until after they’ve eaten McDonalds.
Food Ideas Rejected By McDonalds:
Chicken McBobbitts
Salmon McNella
Tom Roseanne "Together Forever" Value Meal
Shirley McLean Burger
McMenudo
Filet o` Gefilte Fish
Way Too Happy Meal
Lion King Hairball Happy Meal
Them Ain`t Nuggets!
McKitty Sandwich