Age Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.

    Pondering old age

    Hot 7 years ago

    How do I know that my youth is all spent?
    Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
    But in spite of it all I am able to grin
    when I recall where my get up has been.
    Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-
    but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,
    with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,
    my eyes on the table until I wake up.
    Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
    "Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"
    And I'm happy to say as I close my door,
    my friends are the same, perhaps even more.
    When I was young, my slippers were red,
    I could pick up my heels right over my head.
    When I grew older, my slippers were blue,
    but still I could dance the whole night through.
    But now I am old, my slippers are black,
    I walk to the store and puff my way back.
    The reason I know my youth is all spent,
    my get up and go has got up and went.
    But I really don't mind when I more...

    Old Age And Cunning

    Hot 7 years ago

    An old farmer in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, Horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
    One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
    As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
    The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
    Moral: Old age and more...

    I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

    The World History

    Hot 4 years ago

    [Original Author: Richard Lederer, St Paul's School]
    One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a
    student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably
    genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through
    college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.
    The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
    Camelot. The climate in the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of
    the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular
    cube. The pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
    The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were
    created from an more...

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