Reply Jokes

A man phoned his wife from the office, "Honey, I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime, but I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home soon to pick them up."
He rushed home to pick up his things, hugged his wife, apologized for giving her such short notice and hurried off.
When he returned a week later, his wife asked, "Well, dear, did you have a good fishing trip?"
"I sure did," he replied. "The fishing was great, but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No, dear, I didn't," the wife replied with a sly smile. "I put them in your tackle box!"

The facelift - 2
Morris decides to have a facelift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 at Bushey hospital and feels really good about the result. But would others see how good he looked? So he thought he would put this to the test. On his way home, he stops off at Brent Cross shopping centre. He first of all goes into Smiths, buys a newspaper and says to the girl behind the cash desk, "I hope you don`t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," came the reply.
"I`m actually 47," Morris says, feeling really happy.
Then he goes into Fenwicks for lunch and asks the waitress the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29 ".
"I am actually 47." This makes him feel really good.
In the car park on the way out, Morris meets two elderly ladies and asks them the same question. One of them winks to the other and replies, "I can’t really tell. I am 70 years old and my eyesight more...

An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about20' behind her and asked "Can you hear me sweetheart"?. No reply. Moved to 10' and inquired again. No reply. 5' and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked "Can you hear me now honey"? His wife said "For the fourth time, yes."

It was the wedding night for a young couple and the groom wanted everything
to be just perfect. He arranged to stay in the Honeymoon Suite of a plush
hotel, and he and his new bride eagerly jumped into the heart-shaped bed
to make love for the first time (at least for him). After making wild and
passionate love for a considerate length of time, they both reached the
climactic moment simultaneously, slipping into a state of utmost
relaxation. At this point, the groom reaches for the telephone.
"What on earth do you think you are doing?" asks the young bride
"Well, I wanted everything to be perfect, so I thought I should call room
service for a bottle of their finest champagne," came the reply
"Well, I used to date Arnold Palmer, and when Arnold and I finished making love
we would wait 10 minutes and make love again," the young groom was informed.
"If that's what you are used to, I will be glad to more...

Ted, fresh out of business school, was being interviewed for a job as an accountant. The interviewer was a very nervous man who ran the small business he had started by himself.
The man said, "What I'm in need of is someone with an accounting degree. Mainly, I'm looking for someone who will do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" Ted said.
"I worry about many things, but I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job would be to take all the financial worries off my back," replied the man.
"OK. How much does the job pay?" asked Ted.
"To start, sixty-five thousand dollars," was the man's reply.
"Sixty-five thousand dollars!" exclaimed Ted. "How on earth can such a small business afford a salary like that?"
"That, Ted, is your first worry!" was the reply.