Matrix Jokes / Recent Jokes

Log on - Adding a log to your wood stoveLog off - Don't add a log to your wood stoveMonitor - Keep an eye on the wood stoveMegahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morningFloppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stoveRam - The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter workDrive - Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stoveHard drive - Trying to get home during a heavy snow stormPrompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow seasonEnter - Come on inWindows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 belowScreen - What is a must during black fly seasonChip - What you munch during a football gamesMicrochip - What's left in the bag when the normal chips are goneModem - What you did to your fields last JulyDot Matrix - Eino Matrix's wifeLaptop - Where the grandkids sitKeyboard - Where you're supposed to put the keys so the wife can find themSoftware - Plastic picnic utensilsMouse - What leaves those little turds in more...

Log on - Make the wood stove hotter
Log off - Don't add no more wood
Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove
Download - Getting the firewood off the truck
Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood
Ram - The thing that splits the firewood
Hard drive - Getting home in the winter
Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter
Window - What to shut when it's cold outside
Screen - What to shut in black fly season
Byte - What the black flies do
Bit - What the black flies did
Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do chip Munchies for TV
Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips
Modem - What you did to the hay fields
Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
Lap top - Where the kitty sleeps
Software - The dumb plastic knives & forks they give you at McDonalds
Hardware - The real stainless steel cutlery.
Mouse - What eats grain in the barn
Main frame - What holds the barn up
Enter more...

Log On... Make the barbie hotter
Log Off... Don't add any more wood
Monitor... Keeping an eye on the barbie
Download... Get the firewood off the ute
Floppy Disc... What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Window... What you shut when it's cold
Screen... What you shut in the mozzie season
Byte... What mozzies do
Bit... What mozzies did
Mega Byte... What Townsville mozzies do
Chip... A bar snack
Micro Chip... What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem... What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix... Old Dan Matrix's wife
Laptop... Where the cat sleeps
Software... Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
Hardware... Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
Mouse... What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe... What holds the shed up
Web... What spiders make
Web Site... The shed or under the verandah
Cursor... The old bloke that swears a lot
Search Engine... What you do more...

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin'.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Gettin' home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: That's what the flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame: Hold up the barn more...

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.Log Off: Don't add no wood.Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.Byte: That's what the flies do.Chip: What to munch on.Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.Port: Fancy wine.Enter: C'mon in.Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that more...