Byte Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1. Log on: Make the wood stove hotter
    2. Log off: Don't add no more wood
    3. Monitor: Keep an eye on that wood stove
    4. Download: Getting the firewood off the truck
    5. Floppy Disk: What you fet from trying to carry to
    much firewood
    6. Ram: The thing that splits the firewood
    7. Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter
    8. Prompt: "Throw another log on the fire"
    9. Window: What to shut when it's cold outside
    10. Screen: What to shut in fly season
    11. Byte: What flies do
    12. Bit: What the flies did
    13. Mega Byte: What BIG flies do
    14. Chip: Munchies when monitoring
    15. Micro Chip: What's left after you eat the chips
    16. Modem: What you did to the hay fields
    17. Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrixs' wife
    18. Lap top: Where kitty sleeps
    19. Software: The dumb plastic knives and forks they
    give you at the Big R
    20. Hardware: Real stainless steel cutlery
    21. Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
    22. more...

    From "Machine Design" Magazine... Byte BatAll too often, computers aren't up when you need them, or some sort of system error costs you a lot of time and effort. Hitting a computer or terminal with anything substantial can be satisfying, but expensive. That's where the Byte Bat comes in.It is a foam rubber baseball bat, 17 in. long, that may give you a harmless but satisfying way in which to "strike back" at computers.Specially designed to serve as a frustration shunt, the Byte Bat is compatible with all computers and operating systems, making it the first universally compatible foamware. Each Byte Bat comes with a complete user's manual, one genuine "Byte Bat User Button," one multi-color poster showing the device in use, and a warning decal that advises all who approach that "This computer-friendly liveware is protected by Byte Bat."

    GeekonicsBy John WoestendiekPhiladelphia InquirerWed., January 8, 1997NEWS BULLETIN: Saying it will improve the education of children who have grown up immersed in computer lingo, the school board in San Jose, Calif., has officially designated computer English, or "Geekonics", as a second language.The historic vote on Geekonics - a combination of the word "geek" and the word "phonics" - came just weeks after the Oakland school board recognized black English, or Ebonics, as a distinct language."This entirely reconfigures our parameters," Milton "Floppy" Macintosh, chairman of Geekonics Unlimited, said after the school board became the first in the nation to recognize Geekonics."No longer are we preformatted for failure," Macintosh said during a celebration that saw many Geekonics backers come dangerously close to smiling. "Today, we are rebooting, implementing a program to process the data we need to interface with all more...

    Log on - Make the wood stove hotter
    Log off - Don't add no more wood
    Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove
    Download - Getting the firewood off the truck
    Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood
    Ram - The thing that splits the firewood
    Hard drive - Getting home in the winter
    Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter
    Window - What to shut when it's cold outside
    Screen - What to shut in black fly season
    Byte - What the black flies do
    Bit - What the black flies did
    Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do chip Munchies for TV
    Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips
    Modem - What you did to the hay fields
    Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
    Lap top - Where the kitty sleeps
    Software - The dumb plastic knives & forks they give you at McDonalds
    Hardware - The real stainless steel cutlery.
    Mouse - What eats grain in the barn
    Main frame - What holds the barn up
    Enter more...

    Log On... Make the barbie hotter
    Log Off... Don't add any more wood
    Monitor... Keeping an eye on the barbie
    Download... Get the firewood off the ute
    Floppy Disc... What you get lifting too much firewood at once
    Window... What you shut when it's cold
    Screen... What you shut in the mozzie season
    Byte... What mozzies do
    Bit... What mozzies did
    Mega Byte... What Townsville mozzies do
    Chip... A bar snack
    Micro Chip... What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
    Modem... What you did to the lawns
    Dot Matrix... Old Dan Matrix's wife
    Laptop... Where the cat sleeps
    Software... Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
    Hardware... Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart
    Mouse... What eats the grain in the shed
    Mainframe... What holds the shed up
    Web... What spiders make
    Web Site... The shed or under the verandah
    Cursor... The old bloke that swears a lot
    Search Engine... What you do more...

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