Firewood Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Redneck joke

    Hot 1 year ago

    "Hello, is this the FBI?"
    "Yes. What do you want?"
    "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
    The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
    "Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Did they chop your firewood?"
    "Yep."
    "Happy Birthday Buddy"

    Log On:
    Makin' the wood stove hotter.
    Log Off:
    Don't add no wood.
    Monitor:
    Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
    Download:
    Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
    Mega Hertz:
    When yer not careful down loadin'.
    Floppy Disk:
    Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
    Ram:
    The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
    Hard Drive:
    Getting' home in the winter season.
    Prompt:
    What you wish the mail was in the winter.
    Windows:
    What to shut when it's below 15 below.
    Screen:
    What 'cha need for the black fly season.
    Byte:
    That's what the flies do.
    Chip:
    What to munch on.
    Micro Chip:
    What's left in the bottom of the bag.
    Infrared:
    Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
    Modem:
    What 'cha did to the hay fields.
    Dot Matrix:
    Farmer Matrix's wife.
    Lap Top:
    Where little kids feel comfy.
    Keyboard:
    Where ya hang your keys.
    Software:
    Them plastic eatin' more...

    "Hello, is this the FBI?"
    "Yes. What do you want?"
    "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
    The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
    "Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Did they chop your firewood?"
    "Yep."
    "Merry Christmas Buddy"

    "Hello, is this the FBI?"
    "Yes. What do you want?"
    "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
    The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
    The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
    "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Did they chop your firewood?"
    "Yep."
    "Merry Christmas Buddy."

    1. Log on: Make the wood stove hotter
    2. Log off: Don't add no more wood
    3. Monitor: Keep an eye on that wood stove
    4. Download: Getting the firewood off the truck
    5. Floppy Disk: What you fet from trying to carry to
    much firewood
    6. Ram: The thing that splits the firewood
    7. Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter
    8. Prompt: "Throw another log on the fire"
    9. Window: What to shut when it's cold outside
    10. Screen: What to shut in fly season
    11. Byte: What flies do
    12. Bit: What the flies did
    13. Mega Byte: What BIG flies do
    14. Chip: Munchies when monitoring
    15. Micro Chip: What's left after you eat the chips
    16. Modem: What you did to the hay fields
    17. Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrixs' wife
    18. Lap top: Where kitty sleeps
    19. Software: The dumb plastic knives and forks they
    give you at the Big R
    20. Hardware: Real stainless steel cutlery
    21. Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
    22. more...

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