Barn Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Sleeping In The Barn

    Hot 8 months ago

    Three men are driving in a car when it breaks down on an abandoned road: A Hindu man, a Jewish man, and a Polish man. After walking for a few miles, they come across a farm with a barn. Desperately seeking a place to sleep for the night, they knock on the door and ask the farmer if they can sleep in the barn.
    The farmer says it's OK as long as they don't disturb his sleep or the animals, so the three men go to sleep in the barn with all the animals.
    Fifteen minutes later, the Hindu man bangs on the farmer's door and asks if he can sleep on the floor of his room, because he cannot sleep with sacred cows next to him. The farmer says it's OK and lets him in.
    In another fifteen minutes, the Jewish man bangs on the farmer's door and asks if he can sleep on the floor of his room, because he cannot sleep with pigs next to him, and the farmer says this is OK. Now only the Polish man is outside.
    Fifteen minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door, and by this time more...

    A Texas rancher was driving through Mexico and stopped at the edge of the road to admire the scenery and a white beautiful horse caught his eye. The horse looked healthy well kept and was in a separate corral. Just for tries the Texan asked one of the workers if the horse was for sale. The worker trying to communicate said "No, no, he no look to good." The Texan was not satisfied with the answered because he saw that the animal looked great and insisted on buying it, after a few arguments the worker arranged for the sale and the Texan took the horse back to his ranch. He rode the horse through his ranch and galloped to the barn when suddenly the horse ran right into the barn wall. Frustrated the Texan takes the horse back to Mexico and talks to the worker that sold him the horse and explains what happened. The worker said, "I told you he no look to good"

    Cows In Government

    Hot 5 years ago

    FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
    PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.
    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
    FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The more...

    The Farm

    Hot 5 years ago

    A farmer had three sons. One day, his oldest came to him and said that since he was graduating high school, he would really like to get a car.
    His father said, "Son, come here." He took him to the barn, pointed to the tractor and said, "This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car." The boy was not too happy, but was understanding. A week later, his second son approached him, wanting a motorcycle. "Well," the father said, "as soon as the tractor is paid for we'll see about getting you your scooter." Shortly after, his youngest was bugging him for a bike. Again, the father gave him the lecture about the tractor needing to be paid off first. While leaving the barn, the young boy, a little disgusted with his father's explanation, saw the farm rooster doing its "rooster duty" with one of the hens. He promptly went over and kicked the rooster off the hen's back, mumbling to himself. more...

    sleep in the barn

    Hot 3 years ago

    A police chief, a fire chief, and a city manager were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, more...

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