Mahatma Jokes

Sometime after independence three great leaders of the country -

Mahatma Gandhi, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven.

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time
on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn’t given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, “Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation! “

A vagrant, finding no place on the pavement, parked himself at the feet of a statue of Mahatma Gandhi. At midnight he was awakened by someone gently tapping him with a stick. It was the Mahatma himself.' You Indians have been unfair to me,' complained the benign spirit.' You put my statues everywhere; they show me standing or walking. My feet are very tired. Why can't I have a horse like the one Shivaji has? Surely, I did as much for the nation as he! And you still call me your BapuT
Next morning, the vagrant went round calling on the ministers. At long last he persuaded one to join him for a nightlong vigil at the feet of the Mahatma's statue. Lo and behold, as the iron tongue of the neighbouring police station gong struck the midnight hour, the Mahatma emerged from his statue to converse with the vagrant. He repeated his complaint of having to stand or walk, and his request to be provided a mount like the Chhatrapati's.
'Bapu,' replied the vagrant,' I am too poor to buy more...

Indian History: Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings:
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.
In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as MeraBharat Mahan.
In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi more...