Lottery Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won some money in the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%! company." Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave." "I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%! company." the man insisted. Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked. "I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%! company," the man replied. "Oh, I see," said the manager. "And these %**!&%! people are giving you a hard time?"
A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company."
Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave."
"I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%*! company," the man insisted.
Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked.
"I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company," the man replied.
"Oh, I see," said the manager. "And are these %**!&%*! people giving you a hard time?"
Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can win $20 dollars every year for the next million years.
A man gets home and shouts, "Honey pack your bags. I just hit the lottery!"
She says, "What should I pack?"
"Don't matter just get the fuck out!"
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble.
He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray...........
"Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house
as well, please let me win the lotto(lottery)".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Bholaji goes back to the temple.....................
"Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".
Lotto night comes and Bholaji still has no luck!!
Back to the temple.................. "My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my b siness, my house,
my car and my wife and children are starving.. don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good
servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can more...
One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels down at the altar and begins to pray to God, stating that he owes many people money and asks to win the lottery. After he is done praying, he gets up and walks out.The next Sunday he goes to the same church and pleads with God through his prayers to let him win the lottery so that he can pay these people back.The next Sunday comes around and Shane enters the church very upset and close to tears, he kneels at the alter and asks why God is doing this to him and say's that he has asked to win the lottery for three weeks now and nothing. Suddenly there came a loud bang of thunder and God spoke, "Shane, meet me halfway: Buy a damn ticket!"