Junkie Jokes

ABC Stock reaches $155. $155 for a stock that should be valued at $100. Wow!!!!
That's it I say to myself. It's time I make that decision that all longs consider at one time or another. I am going to short my first stock. I am thinking to myself "This stock is overvalued. It can't sustain these levels. This is money in the bank. Guaranteed baby!!"
I phone my broker.
"How can I help you Mr. Junkie."
"I want to place a trade. I want to short 1000 share of ABC." After a few seconds he says,
"I am sorry Mr. Junkie. I can't process that for you. Your account is a cash account. You need a margin account to short a stock. I can send you the application or you could go to your nearest financial institution to fill out the forms."
I head out the door the minute I get off the phone because time was a wasting and as they say time is money. I run into the financial institution fill out the form and have a taxi deliver it more...

ADDICTED INTERNET JUNKIE!!!
1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy--for a year!!!
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ... instead of ICU!
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You find out more...

ADDICTED INTERNET JUNKIE!!! 1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy--for a year!!! 2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ... instead of ICU! 5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.8. Tech support calls YOU for help.9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.15. You talk on more...