Financial Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A wealthy and very well dressed financial consultant arrived at his office to fill out his report for the company he was working for.

    The dapper, extremely confident and very dignified gentleman left his Porsche with the parking attendant and entered wearing the building wearing his designer business suit. His shoes clicked along the polished floor as he headed for the elevator.

    He picked up the paperwork, and strutted into his well-furnished office, put down his fifteen hundred dollar briefcase and sat down at his desk. He stared at the questions for five minutes, and shook his head in disbelief. He looked again, and his shoulders dropped.

    "I know I have no choice, but this is an OUTRAGE!" he said out loud.

    Then with a sigh of embarrassment, he reached down, untied and pulled his feet out of his highly polished $800 Brooks Brothers cap toe dress shoes and then peeled off his black silk business socks as well.

    The now barefoot more...

    A blonde college co-ed ran in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she sobbed.
    "I did? What did I tell you?" her father asked.
    "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble," she sniffed..
    "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," her father said. "There must be some mistake."
    "I don't think so," she cried. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'!"

    A man and his wife are having serious financial difficulties, so they decide that she'll become a hooker.
    Not quite sure of what she's to do, her husband explains that she's to stand in front of the bar and pick up a guy. "Tell him it's a hundred dollars. If you have any questions, I'll be parked right around the corner," he says.
    She stands there for a few minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"
    "A hundred dollars," she replies.
    "All I have is thirty," the guy says.
    She tells him to hold on, runs back to her husband and asks, "What can he get for thirty dollars?"
    "A hand job," her husband replies.
    She quickly runs back and tells the guy that a hand job is all he can get for thirty dollars. He agrees and she gets in his car.
    He unzips his pants and out pops an enormous penis.
    She stares at it for a minute, eyes popping out of her head, then says, "I'll be right more...

    A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"
    "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.
    "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
    "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."
    "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

    A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father.
    "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"
    "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.
    "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
    "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "There must be some mistake."
    "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

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