Credit Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A stolen VISA Credit Card

    Hot 9 months ago

    A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did!

    Here are a couple of my favorite examples of gullible people (true stories).
    Back in the days of the Mattel Cabbage Patch Kid craze it was usually
    very hard to get one for the kiddies. A radio station (I don't know where)
    announced that Mattel was going to get Cabbage Patch Kids out to the people
    of this particular city. The plan was that they had to go to the football
    field of the local university and wait. An airplane would fly overhead and
    the dolls would be dropped onto the field. People were supposed to hold
    their credit cards up so that a photographer with a telephoto lens in the
    airplane could get the credit card numbers and charge the price of the
    dolls to the recipients' accounts.
    People actually showed up, waving American Express cards in the breeze.
    Another radio station prank took place on April Fool's Day. They
    announced that the phone company would be cleaning the dirt out of the
    phone lines that afternoon. They do more...

    Corporate Lesson 1

    Hot 2 years ago

    Share Critical Information Pertaining to Credit and Risk
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
    When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
    "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
    "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the more...

    The MacPhearson Saga

    Hot 2 years ago

    A Brigadier General was inspecting a Scots Highland in full parade dress. There were rows and rows of kilted brawny fine Scotsmen. As the Brigadier General started down the 3rd row he noticed a strapping lad at the end had a problem with something hanging below the hem of his kilt. As he approached the end of the row he stopped in front of this particular fellow, and looked him up and down.
    "How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?" he asked
    "Sur, I ben in the regiment abou' thrai yaars."
    "Whu' might be yur name yung mun?"
    "Me name's MacPhearson, Sur."
    "Yur a credit to th' regiment, kape upp the gud wurk," said the Brigadier General as he moved on.
    As the Brigadier General came to the 7th row he noticed another young man with something even longer below the hem of his kilt. He approached him and said,
    "How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?"
    "I've been with th' more...

    Forest Gump goes to heaven...The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. St. Peter says,
    "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
    I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short and you have to pass before you can get into heaven.1) What days of the week begin with the letter T? 2) How many seconds are there in a year? 3) What is God's first name?"Forrest says, "Well, the first one - how many days in the week begin
    With the letter "T"?
    That one's easy.
    That'd be Today and Tomorrow."The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims!!
    "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but...
    I'll give you credit for that answer."How about the second one?" asks St. Peter.
    "How many seconds in a year?""Now that one's more...

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