The Washington Post
february 4, 1988
This is more commentary than humor, but what the heck...
I believe the president. I have always believed him. I believed him when he said he had never been drafted in the Vietnam War and I believed him when he said he had forgotten to mention that he had been drafted in the Vietnam War. I believed him when he said he hadn't had sex with Gennifer Flowers and I believe him now, when he reportedly says he did.
I believe the president did not rent out the Lincoln Bedroom, did not sell access to himself and the vice president to hundreds of well-heeled special pleaders and did not supervise the largest, most systematic money-laundering operation in campaign finance history, collecting more than $ 3 million in illegal and improper donations. I believe that Charlie Trie and James Riady were motivated by nothing but patriotism for their adopted more...
Lou Pearlman the creator of the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync was indicted Wednesday on charges he defrauded a bank. Bank fraud carries a maximum sentence of 30-years, but being the creator of two-boy bands gets you the chair.
Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf has been indicted by a grand jury on drug and burglary charges. Congratulations, Ryan, that's the best thing you've done in the last ten years.
"Scooter Libby, who got indicted, has set up a legal defense fund to help pay his legal bills. It's pretty good, for a $1,000 donation you get a hand-written thank you note and the name of a CIA agent." --Jay Leno
"Libby was indicted on two counts of obstruction of justice, three counts of perjury, and one count of not being as smart as Karl Rove." --Jon Stewart
"What did Scooter Libby say when he bumped into President Bush at the White House?. .. Pardon me." --Jay Leno
"Outside the courthouse, Libby's lawyer said all he wants to do is clear his client's good name. I don't know, Scooter? Is that a good name?" --Jay Leno
"Vice President Dick Cheney's former assistant, Scooter Libby, pleaded not guilty to the Yeah, the weird thing is since his name is Scooter, he's being tried in juvenile court." --Conan O'Brien
"Dick Cheney's right-hand man Scooter Libby has been indicted. By more...
So Michael Vick has been indicted on charges of running a Dog Fighting operation at some property he owns in Virginia.
One thing Michael Vick cannot be accused or indicted of and that is thinking outside the box when pondering the question, "What Would I Do if I had a Million Dollars."