Hare Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The hare

    Hot 6 months ago

    a guy was driving and suddenly, 'THUMP',
    ....He hit a hare [and the man was a nature lover]annyway he lies down and starts crying .A bit later a blond drives by checks the guy crying so she stops and says whats wrong so the man replies its the hare its dead its dead.So the blond goes back to her car and pulls out a can and sprays the hare . suddenly the hare jumps up waves jumps waves and continues doing this then the man says what did you do? and what is that stuff? so the blond reads hair spray....restores hair adds permanent wave.

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
    Walk softly and carry a big carrot
    Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
    There's no such thing as too much candy.
    All work and no play can make you a basket case.
    A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
    Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
    Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
    Somebody parts should be floppy.
    Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.
    The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
    An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.
    To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.
    The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!

    On a real estate agent's car: "Site-seeing bus."
    On the sales lot for mobile homes: "Wheel Estate."
    In a public utilities office: "We're Pleased to Meter You!"
    In a TV repair shop: "Do it yourself - then call us."
    In a doctor's office: "The doctor is very busy - please have your symptoms ready."
    In front of a school: "In the event of an atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in this school is temporarily suspended."
    In an obstetrician's office: "Pay As You Grow."
    At a mechanic's shop: "Let me brake you, muffle you, and shock you."
    On a campus job board: "Hotel workers wanted. Only the inn-experienced need apply."
    By entrance to a maternity shop: "Clothes for the wait conscious."
    In a pet shop window: "Hare ye! Hare ye! Have Easter bunnies. Hop to it!"
    On a church bulletin board: "Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, more...

    One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!

    A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

    The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.

    A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked this man what was wrong.

    "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it."

    The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

    Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, more...

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