a guy was driving and suddenly, 'THUMP',
....He hit a hare [and the man was a nature lover]annyway he lies down and starts crying .A bit later a blond drives by checks the guy crying so she stops and says whats wrong so the man replies its the hare its dead its dead.So the blond goes back to her car and pulls out a can and sprays the hare . suddenly the hare jumps up waves jumps waves and continues doing this then the man says what did you do? and what is that stuff? so the blond reads hair spray....restores hair adds permanent wave.
Bad Jokes The following riddles and jokes were made up by BADJOKE. EXE, an MS-DOSprogram. You probably haven't heard most of them. Please try not to laughtoo hard and feel free to flame as much as you like--we are all likepassengers on the deck of the Titanic discussing what we're going to do whenwe get to shore. How can you tell when a mechanic has been behind your nuclear warhead? There are nubile lambchops all over your pizza! How can you tell when a pope has been coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing travelling salesmen in your banana! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? To diaper their skyscrapers! Why do policemen have toilets? So that yaks will disobey them! What do you get when you cross a Barbie doll and a banana? An angry nurse! What did the Democrat say to the kettle drum?" Ignore my eyeball, you square baby!"What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler?" more...
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Walk softly and carry a big carrot
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There's no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Somebody parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.
To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!
On a real estate agent's car: "Site-seeing bus."
On the sales lot for mobile homes: "Wheel Estate."
In a public utilities office: "We're Pleased to Meter You!"
In a TV repair shop: "Do it yourself - then call us."
In a doctor's office: "The doctor is very busy - please have your symptoms ready."
In front of a school: "In the event of an atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in this school is temporarily suspended."
In an obstetrician's office: "Pay As You Grow."
At a mechanic's shop: "Let me brake you, muffle you, and shock you."
On a campus job board: "Hotel workers wanted. Only the inn-experienced need apply."
By entrance to a maternity shop: "Clothes for the wait conscious."
In a pet shop window: "Hare ye! Hare ye! Have Easter bunnies. Hop to it!"
On a church bulletin board: "Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, more...
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!