Hare Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The hare

    Hot 6 years ago

    a guy was driving and suddenly, 'THUMP',
    ....He hit a hare [and the man was a nature lover]annyway he lies down and starts crying .A bit later a blond drives by checks the guy crying so she stops and says whats wrong so the man replies its the hare its dead its dead.So the blond goes back to her car and pulls out a can and sprays the hare . suddenly the hare jumps up waves jumps waves and continues doing this then the man says what did you do? and what is that stuff? so the blond reads hair spray....restores hair adds permanent wave.

    Bad Jokes The following riddles and jokes were made up by BADJOKE.EXE, an MS-DOSprogram. You probably haven't heard most of them. Please try not to laughtoo hard and feel free to flame as much as you like-we are all likepassengers on the deck of the Titanic discussing what we're going to do whenwe get to shore.How can you tell when a mechanic has been behind your nuclear warhead? There are nubile lambchops all over your pizza! How can you tell when a pope has been coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing travelling salesmen in your banana! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? To diaper their skyscrapers! Why do policemen have toilets? So that yaks will disobey them! What do you get when you cross a Barbie doll and a banana? An angry nurse! What did the Democrat say to the kettle drum?"Ignore my eyeball, you square baby!"What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler?"Enlist more...

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
    Walk softly and carry a big carrot
    Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
    There's no such thing as too much candy.
    All work and no play can make you a basket case.
    A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
    Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
    Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
    Somebody parts should be floppy.
    Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.
    The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
    An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.
    To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.
    The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!

    On a real estate agent's car: "Site-seeing bus."
    On the sales lot for mobile homes: "Wheel Estate."
    In a public utilities office: "We're Pleased to Meter You!"
    In a TV repair shop: "Do it yourself - then call us."
    In a doctor's office: "The doctor is very busy - please have your symptoms ready."
    In front of a school: "In the event of an atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in this school is temporarily suspended."
    In an obstetrician's office: "Pay As You Grow."
    At a mechanic's shop: "Let me brake you, muffle you, and shock you."
    On a campus job board: "Hotel workers wanted. Only the inn-experienced need apply."
    By entrance to a maternity shop: "Clothes for the wait conscious."
    In a pet shop window: "Hare ye! Hare ye! Have Easter bunnies. Hop to it!"
    On a church bulletin board: "Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, more...

    A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

    The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.

    A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked this man what was wrong.

    "I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it."

    The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

    Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, more...

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