Crash Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON'S FRIEND??
    The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
    note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):
    1. James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
    apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
    witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
    2. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
    Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
    was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
    3. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
    Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
    head, ruled a suicide.
    4. Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
    Committee Chairman. Reported to have died more...

    A pedophile dies in a car crash and goes to heaven. He's stopped atthe pearly gates by St. Peter, who is really miffed:"You swine. How can you have the audacity to try and enter heaven afteryou have lead such a perverted, ungodly life. Do you think you have asnowballs chance in hell of meeting god?""Fuck God... I'm after the baby Jesus."

    Patel's Accident

    Hot 4 years ago

    There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident. At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.
    "I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
    "Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.

    "Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.

    "I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"

    "Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries. You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."

    He asked for his family to be called in. As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"

    "I am here husband, and I will never leave more...

    IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great, But... there are problems that can't wait! Now Benton's fine, and Carter too, But Ross and Susan just won't do! Now who do you think that we should hire, Since both of them today I'll fire? Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...But the paramedics just pulled up.Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got? Shep: This little boy has just been shot! His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.We did all we could to stop the leak.Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip... Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip? Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair, So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three! Doug and Susan! Come with me! Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see? We've got some more; one, two, and three.Kerry: You've got three more? How can this be? Explain it, tell more...

    Coke or Pepsi

    Hot 1 year ago

    There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
    It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle.
    A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew.
    They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew.
    They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals.
    They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
    The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash".
    When asked where the crew was, the Cheif replyed, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!"
    The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
    The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!"
    Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
    The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!"
    Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat more...

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