Saw Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Soldier at Attention

    Hot 1 year ago

    Mr. Smith got himself a new secretary. She was young, pretty, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation she noticed his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,' Mr. Smith, do you know your barracks door is open?'

    He didn't immediately understand her remark but later on he glanced down and saw his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. He called her in and asked,' By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did notice the soldier standing at attention?'

    ' Why, no Mr. Smith,' she replied sweetly,' all I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags.'

    The Boy & The father

    Hot 1 year ago

    A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
    boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

    "That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
    stomping him you will do without honey for a week."

    Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
    "That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
    stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

    The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
    his plain toast (no honey and butter.)

    Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
    The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
    should I?

    I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said' Are you going to help?' I said' No, six should be enough.'

    Lots of toungue twisters

    Hot 3 years ago

    Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings.

    A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits

    A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

    Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

    Unique New York.

    Betty Botter had some butter,' 'But,'' she said,' 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-- that would make my batter better.''

    So she bought a bit of butter, better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So' twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

    Six thick thistle sticks. Six thick thistles stick.

    Is this your sister's sixth zither, sir?

    A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood.

    The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

    Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

    One more...

    It Could Have Been Worse

    Hot 4 years ago

    There was an old country sheriff who always said, "It could have been worse." No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: "It could have been worse."

    One day, two deputies in the sheriff's office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side.

    "No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself."

    "You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to say "it could have been worse."

    "No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the more...

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