Graduated Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, “Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here? ”
The man answers, “Yeah, I live down the street. ”
“No kidding? ” says the first man, “Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school? ”
“Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in ‘66. How ’bout you? ”
“Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in ‘66, too. Where’d you go to college? ”
“Baylor, in Texas. ”
“No way! I went to Baylor too. What dorm? ”
“Kevin Sullivan dorm. ”
“Sullivan? You’re not going to believe this. . . ”
Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, “Joe, you won’t believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn’t that amazing? more...

All In A Days Work
Three bubbes were sitting around and bragging about their children.
Freda says, "Benny graduated with a first class honours degree from Oxford and he`s now a doctor making £250,000 a year in Harley Street."
Kitty says, "Sidney graduated with a first class honours degree from Cambridge and he`s now a lawyer making half a million pounds a year and he lives in the City."
Ethel says, "Abe never did well in school, never went to university but he now makes one million pounds a year working as a sports repairman."
The other two women ask, "So what`s a sports repairman?"
Ethel replies, "He fixes football matches, rugby matches, cricket matches....."

Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean.

The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious.

The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door said: I graduated from the University of Wyoming and they taught us not to pee on our hands.

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, ''I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.''
The other guy responds proudly, ''Yes, that I am!''
The first guy says, ''So am I! And where about from
Ireland might you be?''
The other guy answers, ''I'm from Dublin, I am.''
The first guy responds, ''Sure and begora, and so am I!
And what street did you live on in Dublin?''
The other guy says, ''A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.''
The first guy says, ''Faith & it's a small world, so did I!
And to what school would you have been going?''
The other guy answers, ''Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course.''
The first guy gets really excited, and says, ''And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?''
The other guy answers, ''Well, now, I graduated in 1964.''
The first guy exclaims, ''The Good more...

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have several degrees."