Fireplace Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was de night jus right befo' Christmas an' all down de bayou, errytang was quiet; not even a nutria go pitty pat in de waduh. An' inside my house, me an' my wife was flat poop out from all dat Christmas preparatin, an' was jes 'bout ready to retire for de night. Le petit garcon an' la petite fille, dat is our little boy an' our little girl, was already fas' asleep on dere moss mattress an' visions of de Fais Do Do dance tru dere heads, dem lil darlins. Dem long john was hung by de log burner wit care in hope dat St. Nicholas soon would brought hisself dere... Now dat de scene is set, Qu'est-ce qui se passe?
Well, out dere on de bayou dere arose such a clatter, I jump from my bed to see what was de matter. I run like de rabbit to got to de door, an' I trip on de dog an' fall on de floor. But, when I got dere finally, an' push away de sack an' peek tru de crack an' look in de far away, what you tought I saw! Well, you can tought youself again 'cause you ain't goin' believe dis, more...

Recent internet humor broadcasts have suggested that Vice President Al Gore is the perfect spokesmodel for the new wonder drug, Viagra. It is a stiff, er.... erect ummm.... logical connection, to be sure.... ..but I just dunno.

I think the following commercial would sell A LOT more pills:

Imagine Jack Nicholson in a reprise of his' Horney Little Devil' role from THE WICHES OF EASTWICK

SCENE: A richly wooded library filled with books, with a fire burning in the fireplace. Jack Nicholson is dressed silk PJ's and an embroidered bathrobe; seated in a leather wing-backed chair. Camera pans across the bookshelves, the fireplace, and the wingback chair, then zooms in on Jack's face. He is reading the label on a Viagra Bottle which he holds in his right hand.

Nicholson notes that someone is looking at him, looks up, then drops his head a little, looks directly into the camera, and rotates the bottle so the label is visable.

' Guys, WE more...