"The Cajun Night Before Christmas" joke
It was de night jus right befo' Christmas an' all down de bayou, errytang was quiet; not even a nutria go pitty pat in de waduh. An' inside my house, me an' my wife was flat poop out from all dat Christmas preparatin, an' was jes 'bout ready to retire for de night. Le petit garcon an' la petite fille, dat is our little boy an' our little girl, was already fas' asleep on dere moss mattress an' visions of de Fais Do Do dance tru dere heads, dem lil darlins. Dem long john was hung by de log burner wit care in hope dat St. Nicholas soon would brought hisself dere... Now dat de scene is set, Qu'est-ce qui se passe?
Well, out dere on de bayou dere arose such a clatter, I jump from my bed to see what was de matter. I run like de rabbit to got to de door, an' I trip on de dog an' fall on de floor. But, when I got dere finally, an' push away de sack an' peek tru de crack an' look in de far away, what you tought I saw! Well, you can tought youself again 'cause you ain't goin' believe dis, no! De moon, she was magnifique how she shine on de cypress tree an' reflect off de bayou. An' coming right up to me at my house was dis great big fancy pirogue being drewed along by eight great big ole alimagator! Inside, a little old driver in Santa Claus costume was movin' along like some crawfish done snuck up his culottes. Fas like de duck he fly, an' call out to his alimagator like so: "Got yourself a move on, Alphonse, Gaston, Raul, Pierre." You see, he call dem each by name. "Come on, Etienne, Alois, Alcide, an' Bozo. I'll make soup out you tail if you don't got yourself a move on! You is some slow alimagator, yeah!"
Well, it's up on de rooftop dem alimagator dey climb; Saint Nick, in his pirogue, he's right behind. An' up on de rooftop, it sound like de hail when dem big alimagator dey flop down dere tail! As I tought in my head, "What is he up dere for?," down the chimney Santa Claus come wit a bang and land right on dem red hot coal in de fireplace! Man, he got out dat fireplace some fast, I guarantee! An', I got to see Santa Claus, an' I check him out pretty good cause you don't got to see him in you house, you know, jus erry day! He was all dress up in dried muskrat from his head to his foot, an' his clothes was all mess up wit ashes an' soot. A sack full of playting he had on hung his back; he look like a peddler what was jus about ready to open up his pack. He had a broad grin an' a round little belly dat shook when he laugh like a bowl full of jelly. His eyes, how dey shine; his dimples how merry! He look like he bin drinking de wine from de blackberry. Wit a wink of his eye an' a jerk of his head, I guarantee you I know I ain't got nuttin to be 'fraid of, no! Well, he went fast to his work an' fill dem long john wit erreyting what you could tought of an', when he fini, he lay both hand on top his head; he look at dat fireplace and done said, "Wit all dat fire an' dem red hot coal, I ain't going back dat way, dat's for sure!" So, it's right out de front door he go. He climb up on de roof and sprung to his pirogue an' crack his big whip. Dem big alimagator, dey move out an' not one make a slip. An' I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight, an' dis is what I want to pass along to you, dis lesson what I learn from what happen to me like I'm told you from las year; I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!"
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez more...