Toys Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Women and Toys

    Hot 1 year ago

    A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

    Santa's secret wish

    Hot 4 years ago

    On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
    Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
    And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
    "I want your secret. Tell it to me."
    He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
    "How do you do it, year after year?"
    "I want to know how, as you travel about,
    Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
    How is it, Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
    You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
    Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
    around the whole world, The reindeer pulling your sleigh
    From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
    From nation to nation, reaching them all?"
    And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
    "Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
    But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
    That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
    He told that small boy more...

    50 Facts About Women

    Hot 11 months ago

    1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
    2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
    3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
    4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
    5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
    6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
    7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
    8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the more...

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their P.J.'s, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers thrown all about the front yard. The door to his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.A lamp had been knocked over, and a throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, Breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand lay piled up by the back door.He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and other piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried that she might be ill, or worse! He found her lounging into the bedroom, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.She smiled, more...

    A person wanted a parrot who talked. Going to the pet store, this lover of talking parrots asked if there was a bird who was already speaking. "Yes," the pet store owner said, "this bird has a vocabulary of about 1000 words plus 50 phrases guaranteed to fit most occasions." The deal was made and the parrot was brought home complete with a cage. The next day the purchaser went back and said the parrot had yet to say a word. "That's to be expected," said the pet shop owner. "Try getting the bird a few of the toys that were here for the bird to use in the shop. It just needs to feel at home with you." Toys were purchased and a day went by. The parrot's owner returned and said there still had been no talking. "I see," said the pet shop owner. "Perhaps if you got a bird bath, the parrot would start to talk while using it." A bird bath was purchased and yet another day went by. The next day the owner was back with the same more...

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