Fee Jokes / Recent Jokes

A dentist’s patient was grumbling about the fee. “Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!, ” she exclaimed. “And it’s only a minute’s work. ”
“Well, if you wish, ” the dentist said, “I’ll it out slowly. ”

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule. "Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417. 58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months. "What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client. "Your right. It's mine."

Q: What is a contingent fee?

A: A contingent fee means, if the lawyer doesn't win your suit, he gets nothing. If the lawyer does win it, you get nothing.

Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done.
As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place.
The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract.
I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van.
I told them my fee: $45.

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.

"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417. 58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.

"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.

"Your right. It's mine."