Fear Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Problem of Problems

    Hot 4 months ago

    A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage." His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?" "Oh yes, very much," he said, "but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them." "No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." more...

    New medical terms

    Hot 4 months ago

    AFROPHOBIA
    Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles (or the Jackson Five).
    PSEUDONYMHOMANIA
    Compulsive desire to have a lot of sex under an assumed name.
    DEJA FLU
    The feeling that one has had this cold before.
    HYPOCOINDRIA
    Fear of not having correct change.
    HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX
    Rash caused by wearing a toupee in a pool.
    HERPES CINEPLEX
    Rash caused by movie tickets priced at $9.50.
    CELESTIAL SEASONINGS AFFECTIVE DISORDER
    Herbal-tea addiction.
    VISACARDITIS
    The heart-stopping sensation brought on by exceeding your
    credit limit.
    ALPOPLEXY
    Canine feeding disorder.
    STREISAND-BROLIN SYNDROME
    Excessive displays of affection.
    SONSTROKE
    An attack during the reading of a will
    ROSWELL-BABY SYNDROME
    Irrational fear that one's infant might be an alien.
    POST-DRAMATIC STRESS DISORDER
    Formerly David Caruso/Shelley Long Syndrome.
    RUMBATOID ARTHRITIS
    Joint stiffness caused by "La Vida more...

    Elderly Man Sued for Stopping at Stop Sign
    September 9, 2002 - Atlanta, USA
    In a case possibly first of its kind, 67 year old Arthur Thompson is being sued by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement she described how she came up to the intersection leading into her downtown condo, and rear ended the driver in front of her due to his 'complete and full stop'. She continues to say that of the almost 2 years of living in that particular condominium complex, she had not once been behind someone who had made a full stop at the stop sign, and that his inability to be 'consistent with typical driving patterns' caused the accident. As a result, she is convinced that Mr. Thompson is directly responsible for the accident and should be held accountable for all incurred costs of repair to both vehicles. When reminded that it is the law to make a complete stop at a stop sign, her abrupt response was "I am quite capable of deciding when it is a more...

    Matt, who has always had a fear of needles, was sitting in the hospital waiting to get a vaccination.
    When the nurse called him into the office to receive the injection, he nervously entered the room, sat down and broke into a cold sweat as he watched her prepare the needle. He tried to concentrate on the most pleasurable things he could, hoping that would dull the pain he was about to suffer.
    As the nurse approached him with the needle, she couldn't help but notice his nervousness. In an attempt to comfort him, she said, "Don't worry, it's just a small prick."
    Matt quickly jumped up, obviously upset. Startled by his reaction, but before she was able to say anything, Matt yelled, "Just how many people has my wife been talking to?!?"

    Q: What do you call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney?
    A: Santaclaustrophobia!

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