Desert Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this blonde lady in a row boat in the middle of the desert
rowing this boat. In the middle of this desert there was a road. Another blonde lady was
driving down the road and saw the other blonde lady, she stopped her car got out
and yelled,
"Your the reason blondes have such bad names!!! If I could swim,
I'd go out there and kick your ass!!!"

A Russian, American, and Pollock are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. Each of them agrees to take one item as they have to continue through the desert on foot.
The Russian and Pollock ask the American what he is going to take.
He said, "the water in case I get thirsty."
They said that's cool.
The American and Pollock ask the Russian what he is going to take.
He said, "the food in case I get hungry."
They said that's cool.
The American and the Russian ask the Pollock what he is going to take.
He said, "the car door in case I get hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master. Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently. "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking through the desert. The redhead brought a bottle of water, the brunette brought a sandwich, and the blonde brought a car door.
When they ask the redhead why she brought the water, she replies"If i get thirsty, i can take a drink."
When they ask the brunette why she brought the sandwich, she replies"If i get hungry, then i can eat it."
When they ask the blonde why she brought the car door, she replies"If i get hot, i can roll down the window."

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks.
One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep.
The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health.
Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town.
On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"
The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."
Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok."
So, he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, Thank God," and the horse starts trotting.
Feeling really brave, the man say, "Thank God, Thank God, more...