Object Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy went to Las Vegas, and won big, really big, in one of the casinos.
    When you win big in Vegas the casino will give you free things, like meals, show tickets, or rooms, this is all designed to keep you there so that you will lose what money you have won.
    After winning fifty thousand dollars at the crap table, the casino decided to give the guy a night in the penthouse suite.
    The guy went up to the room, opened the big double doors, and stepped into a three room suite.
    The room is on a corner of the hotel and two walls are nothing but windows, with a fantastic view of the city. There's a wet bar in one corner, with a big screen T.V.
    The guy dropped his bag of money in a chair and stood looking out the windows at the city.
    He realized he was all alone and needed someone to share his good fortune.
    He called the front desk and told the clerk to send up one of the best, high-priced call girls in the city.
    Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the more...

    Rules of Bedroom Fencing

    Hot 7 years ago

    Each fencer shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one sword and the proper protective gear.
    Play on the strip must be approved by the owner of the target.
    Unlike conventional fencing, the object is to impale the target.
    For most effective play, the sword should have a firm, but not sharp, blade.The owner of the target is permitted to check the blade and protective equipment before play begins.
    Target owners reserve the right to restrict blade length to avoid damage to the target.
    The object of the game is to lunge, recover, lunge, recover until the target owner is satisfied that enough touches have been scored. Failure to do so may result in a black card and being banned from the strip.
    It is considered bad form to begin fencing immediately upon arrival at the strip.It is important to engage in certain exercise before fencing.The experienced fencer will check out the entire strip, paying close attention to any elevations present.
    Fencers are more...

    Once upon a time!

    Hot 7 years ago

    Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
    No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
    The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
    The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth. Three young princes took up the challenge.
    The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly.
    The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world more...

    Why English is tough

    Hot 4 years ago

    Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.1. The bandage was wound around the wound.2. The farm was used to produce produce.3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.4. We must polish the Polish furniture.5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.10. I did not object to the object.11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.13. They were too close to the door to close it.14. The buck does funny things when does are present.15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.19. Upon seeing the tear in the more...

    What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!

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