Equipment Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Cajuns heard that Saddam Hussein was going to help Osama bin Laden and they decided This is WAR!!
    Saddam Hussein was sitting in his bunker when his telephone rang.
    "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said.
    "This is Boudreaux down at the Fred's lounge in Mamou, Looziannah.
    I'm callin' to told you we be officially declarin' war on you!"
    "Well, Boudreaux, Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
    "Rat now," said Boudreaux, (hesitating) "there is me, my cousin Thibedeaux, my nex door neighbor Justain, and the whole bunch from the bar. That makes us eight!"
    Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
    "Woo-eee!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to call you back later!"
    Sure enough, the next day, Boudreaux called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We got us more...

    BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES... THEY COULD COME IN HANDY
    A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49. 73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard -- which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida`s repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole.
    INSULT TO INJURY
    An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison -- for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in his underwear. Cops ruled the more...

    Bungee Jumping

    Hot 6 years ago

    2 guys decide to go down to Mexico and start a bungee jumping business. So they go down to Mexico and start setting up the equipment on a bridge while a curious crowd gathers at the bottom of the bridge and watches. Once the equipment is set up one of the friends decides to test out the stuff. So he sets off and as he bounces back up the first time he comes up with a bloody lip. The second time he bounced back up he had a black eye and a gash on his face to go along with the bloody lip. The other friend tried to catch him but missed. The third time he came back up his face was swollen on the right side and he had blood all over his face. The friend finally caught the other man and tried to tend to the wounds. He asks the friend if the cord was too long.
    The friend replies, "No...Cord....fine...."
    The first friend cries out, "Well what the hell happened down there??"
    The second friends slowly replies, "What...the....hell... is a...pinata?"

    Rules of Bedroom Fencing

    Hot 6 years ago

    Each fencer shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one sword and the proper protective gear.
    Play on the strip must be approved by the owner of the target.
    Unlike conventional fencing, the object is to impale the target.
    For most effective play, the sword should have a firm, but not sharp, blade.The owner of the target is permitted to check the blade and protective equipment before play begins.
    Target owners reserve the right to restrict blade length to avoid damage to the target.
    The object of the game is to lunge, recover, lunge, recover until the target owner is satisfied that enough touches have been scored. Failure to do so may result in a black card and being banned from the strip.
    It is considered bad form to begin fencing immediately upon arrival at the strip.It is important to engage in certain exercise before fencing.The experienced fencer will check out the entire strip, paying close attention to any elevations present.
    Fencers are more...

    Canadian driving!

    Hot 3 years ago

    How to identify a Canadian driver: 1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA4. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO5. - Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY6. - One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER7. - One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER8. - Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE9. - Two hands gripping more...

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