Player Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Greatest Gunfighter

    Hot 1 year ago

    In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
    One Saturday night, as he was sitting in the saloon, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.
    The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.
    "Could you possibly give me some tips?" he asked.
    The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
    "Yep, sure will," said the old-timer.
    The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and more...

    Cocky Gunslinger

    Hot 1 year ago

    It's 1880, the decade of gunslingers and gentlemen. This is a story of one such young man that wanted more than anything to be the fastest and most respected gunslinger in the west.The place was Dodge City, Kansas in the Sawdust Saloon. The young man walked into the Sawdust Saloon and, to his surprise, saw Wyatt Earp sitting at a table playing poker. The young man walked up to Wyatt and said, "Mr. Earp, I would like to be a gunslinger just like you. Could you give me some tips?"Wyatt put his cards down, looked up at the boy and said, "Son, I don't usually give out tips like this cause it could someday be detrimental to my health, but step back and let me take a look at you."The boy stepped back and Mr. Earp said, "You look good. You're wearing black, you've got two ivory handled guns with waxed holsters, and you look like a gunslinger. But what's more important, son, is: Can you shoot?"The young man, happy to show how good he was, quickly drew his pistol more...

    The Chess Player

    Hot 5 years ago

    Never have lunch with a chess player - I did once; there was a checkered tablecloth, and it took him half an hour to pass me the salt.

    Form A Band

    Hot 4 years ago

    Two drummers and a violinist decide to form a band. The three of them start playing, and the sound is just awful. One drummer turns to the other and says, "We sound terrible. I don't think this is going to work. Let's get rid of the violinist."

    This trumpet player was on the phone with his agent. He was concerned that he didn't have a gig in a while. His agent tells him; "Listen, there aren't any gigs out there, but I found you something. I got you a gig bagging lions."

    To which the trumpet player says, "What does that have to do with my playing. The agent then says "Look, the gig pays 100. 00 for each lion that you bag, don't worry about playing"

    . At this point the trumpet player will take anything so he hangs up and flies to Africa. Not wanting to miss any practice time he takes his trumpet with him while looking for the lions. He notices a lion coming toward him and the only thing that he could think of doing is more...

    Banjo Joke

    Hot 7 months ago

    Darrell the banjo picker's canonical list of Banjo Jokes...
    (You've been warned)
    Approved for all audiences
    o What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
    A. onion
    No one cries when you cut up a banjo.
    (b.) Uzi
    An Uzi only repeats forty times.
    (c.) chain saw
    A chain saw has a dynamic range
    and you can turn a chain saw off.
    (d.) Harley Davidson motorcycle
    You can tune a Harley.
    (e.) Trampoline
    You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
    o Playing the banjo is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded...you don't
    have to be very good to get people's attention.
    o What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test?
    Drool...
    o Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
    It saves time in the long run.
    o What will you never say about a banjo player?
    That's the banjo player's Porsche.
    o Banjo players are a lot like sharks-they think they have to keep playing or
    they more...

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