Shaft Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.
    After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
    After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study.
    After $250,000, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
    Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.
    After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

    Hot 6 years ago

    to: ALL staff
    from: Office of Superintendant
    re: "Teacher In Service Training" schedule (TITS)
    In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better TITS for each employee.
    We are therefore, pleased to announce the implementation of the Special High Intensity Training program (SHIT). It is our intention to give each member of the staff as much SHIT as possible. Advancement, salary increases and job changes will be dependent on the amount of SHIT you have taken.
    Employees who feel they have taken as much SHIT as they can may apply to the School Council for Review of Educational Welfare (SCREW).
    All employees are expected to be SCREW'd at least annually.
    If you have taken SHIT and have been SCREW'd within the past academic year, you will be eligible to receive a Self Help Award for Teachers (SHAFT). Any employee who has been given the SHAFT will not be expected to take as much SHIT the more...

    Penis Shape Research

    Hot 6 years ago

    After much discussion the scientific community decided to try to determine why the human penis was shaped the way it was. MIT allocated a budget of $200, 000 and after 2 years research decided the the head of the penis was bigger than the shaft so that during intercourse a better seal was maintained and thus preventing leakage and ensuring fertilization. Johns Hopkins Medical Center allocated a budget of $500, 000 and after 5 years research decided that the head was bigger than the shaft in order to provide more stimulation, ensure ejaculation and thus allow for impregnation. The fellows over at the University of Hawaii spent $2. 50, bought a copy of the latest Victoria's Secret catalog and reached the conclusion that the head is bigger to prevent your hand from slipping off!

    A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker
    towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand!
    It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks
    around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
    Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
    Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
    Darth Vader: "No... I am your father!"
    Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."
    Darth Vader: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
    Luke: "No!"
    Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass
    droid of yours?"
    Luke: "Threepio?"
    Darth Vader: "Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old..."
    Luke: "No..."
    Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at more...

    The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
    Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may begin.
    Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club into the hole while keeping the balls out.
    For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. The course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before allowing play to commence.
    Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length, so as to avoid damage to the course.
    The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible, until the course owner is satisfied.
    Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by the course owner.
    It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will admire the course, paying special attention to the well-formed bunkers.
    Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played recently to the owner of more...

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