Delhi Jokes / Recent Jokes
A plane was taking off from New Delhi Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announnncement over the intercom.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain, Banta speaking. Welcome to Flight No. 333, nonstop from New Delhi to London. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now, just sit back and relax."
Then he quickly yells out loud - "OH MY GOD!"
Dead silence followed. After a few minutes, the pilot comes back on the intercom and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was speaking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it all over my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
Santa in Coach shouts back, "That's nothing, you should see the back of mine!"
Santa calls a call center of air sahara to know the journey time of delhi to bombay. When his call gets connected, he asks "sir, how much time will your plane take from delhi to bombay? Officer says "just a minute sir' santa says thankyou very much and disconnects the call.
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv more...
The Hypnotized Fly From New Delhi to Bombay came a very dirty train. The train had many animals in the corredors, and many people eating and making more garbage. In one cabin, there were a Chinese man and a Jewish man sitting one in front of the other. Suddenly a fly alit on the Chinese man`s head, and using his kung fu, he hypnotized the fly only with his eyes. Then he took the fly, opened his mouth, looked at the Jewish man, and ate it. Five minutes later came another fly, and the Chinese guy did the same thing. The next fly landed, this time on the Jewish`s mans head. He did the same thing; with his eyes he hypnotized the fly, took it, opened his mouth, looked at the Chinese guy, and asked, "Do you want to buy it?"
A Pakistani VIP staying in a five-star establishment in Delhi was accosted by pimps and ladies of pleasure in the corridors of his hotel (the sort that often exercise the minds of members of Parliament).
He also toured the city and saw the sorry state of our roads.' Delhi reminds me very much of the early days in Karachi in 1947,' he remarked.
'How's that?', asked his Indian host.' It's all ditches and bitches,' he replied.
What he said sounded much better in Hindustani than it does in English.