Santa calls a call center of air sahara to know the journey time of delhi to bombay. When his call gets connected, he asks "sir, how much time will your plane take from delhi to bombay? Officer says "just a minute sir' santa says thankyou very much and disconnects the call.
The Hypnotized Fly From New Delhi to Bombay came a very dirty train. The train had many animals in the corredors, and many people eating and making more garbage. In one cabin, there were a Chinese man and a Jewish man sitting one in front of the other. Suddenly a fly alit on the Chinese man`s head, and using his kung fu, he hypnotized the fly only with his eyes. Then he took the fly, opened his mouth, looked at the Jewish man, and ate it. Five minutes later came another fly, and the Chinese guy did the same thing. The next fly landed, this time on the Jewish`s mans head. He did the same thing; with his eyes he hypnotized the fly, took it, opened his mouth, looked at the Chinese guy, and asked, "Do you want to buy it?"
Top ten reasons why the movie "Bombay" should be banned in Bombay:
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn`t sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither
does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of
confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero`s bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a
meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her
with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they
should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have
taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don`t get to see even one overflowing
electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do more...
One Bengali is a poet.
Two Bengalis is a film society.
Three Bengalis is a political party.
Four Bengalis is two political parties.
One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one.
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste killing.
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna.
One Mallu is a coconut stall.
Two Mallus is a boat race.
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus is an oil slick.
One UP bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UPassembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad.
One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay more...
Three friends who, after graduating from college, were meeting for the first time in years. They each had gone back to their native cities of Jullundhar, Bombay, and Calcutta. The man from Bombay wanted to impress his two other friends with the medical expertise in Bombay so he stated: "I know of a doctor in Bombay who joined a severed arm with special glue." Not to be outdone, the friend from Calcutta said: "That's nothing. One of the doctors in Calcutta recently rejoined someone's head with a special ointment." "We have gone EVEN further," proclaimed the man from Jullundhar. "One of my uncles was cut into two right around the navel. Our doctor immediately slaughtered a goat and joined its rear half to my uncle's upper half. So we have my uncle as well as two liters of milk everyday."