Contacts Jokes / Recent Jokes

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water,...very well, secure the showers."

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how' bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water,. .. very well, secure the showers."

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, its getting worse. Following last weeks news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander

"Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth"

"Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how' bout you..?"

"Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"

QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts."

NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water."

EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water."

CAPT: "What, no water,. .. very well, secure the showers."