According Jokes

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    According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men s they're a bunch of liars.

    Female drivers

    Hot 4 years ago

    I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why.
    I drive 38 miles each way, every day, to work. That's 76 miles, of these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper-to-bumper. I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of more...

    In September, according to police in Junction City, Kan., David Bell, 30, just released from jail for car theft, walked out the door and stole another car to get home.

    According to the Washington Times (7/2/97) when a Virginia High School
    student exposed mice to hard rock music 10 hours a day for three weeks,
    their ability to navigate a maze they already knew decreased
    significantly. A control group, exposed to classical music, actually
    improved their maze time. The experiment was cut short because the hard
    rock mice ate each other.

    Five Bad Questions

    Hot 6 years ago

    There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine. The five questions are:
    1 - "What are you thinking?"
    2 - "Do you love me?"
    3 - "Do I look fat?"
    4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
    5 - "What would you do if I died?"
    What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:
    1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five more...

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