Submarines Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
    Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth" "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how 'bout you..?" "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"
    QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts." NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water." EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water." CAPT: "What, no water,...very well, secure the showers."

    The Russian and the American presidents are walking along the beach. They start
    discussing their submarines.
    The Russian president says, "We recently have made much progress with our
    submarines. They can now stay as long under water as yours, for one month."
    The American president replies, "Do you not think that we also made progress?
    Our submarines can now stay under water for two months."
    Shortly after this discussion they hear some strange sound coming from the sea.
    Suddenly a old fashioned looking submarine appears. A hatch opens and a
    uniformed man appears, "Heil Hitler, meine Herren. Can you tell me whether the
    war is already over?"

    Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

    Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander

    "Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth"

    "Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how' bout you..?"

    "Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn"

    QMOW: "Navigator we're on a course for sea mounts."

    NAV: "Exec we're heading for shallow water."

    EXEC: " Captain, we're running out of water."

    CAPT: "What, no water,. .. very well, secure the showers."

    Submarines are safer than airplanes.
    Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!

    Response from a junior (very junior) sonar watchstander
    “Sonar - Conn, Report all contacts in preparation in coming to periscope depth”
    “Conn - Sonar, I hold no contacts - how ’bout you..? ”
    “Sonar - Conn, Supervisor to the Conn”

    Qmow: “Navigator we’re on a course for sea mounts. ”
    Nav: “Exec we’re heading for shallow water. ”
    Exec: ” Captain, we’re running out of water. ”
    Capt: “What, no water, …very well, secure the showers. ”

    German fisherman was at the sea with a small boat. After some time American submarine surfaced near him. The captain asked the fisherman: "Have You seen any Russian submarines lately?"
    "Yes, I have, they went to north-east", the fisherman replied.
    "Thanks very much", and off they went, to north-east... After some time, Russian submarine surfaced, and their commander asked the same fisherman, "Have You seen any American submarines lately?"
    Fishermans answer was the same: "Yes, and they went to north-east."
    "What?", asked Russian submarines commander.
    "I said, they went to north-east!"
    "What a hell means north-east, You'd better show us the direction with your hand, if You don't want us to sink you!"

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