Russian Jokes

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    Russian Genie

    Hot 2 days ago

    A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
    bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
    a genie.
    The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
    will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
    The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking
    vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka
    whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
    The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home
    he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he
    smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and
    it is the best vodka
    that he has ever tasted.
    The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come
    quickly."
    She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes
    another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    tells her to drink, that it more...

    Excuse Me

    Hot 1 hour ago

    These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
    A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
    The Saudi says, "Excuse me, what's a shortage?"
    The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"
    The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"
    The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me? What's excuse me?

    There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement." Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt." Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies." Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done. At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy. Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy. Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy??" All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " more...

    A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of
    Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
    "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit.
    "They must be British."
    "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful.
    Clearly, they are French."
    "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat,
    and they're being told this is paradise. They are definitely Russian!"

    A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted.The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka she more...

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