Roulette Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Lucky Frog
    Abe lives in Tel Aviv. One day, he takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Abe thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron". Abe looks around and doesn`t see anyone.
    "Ribbit. 9 Iron." And then Abe realises that the frog is doing the talking.
    He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the hole. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow, that`s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." Abe decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
    "What do you think, frog?" Abe asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." Abe takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. Abe is befuddled and doesn`t know what to say. .
    By the end of the day, Abe has golfed the best game of more...

    A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."
    The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game." The diplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play.
    "I'll show you how."
    He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex," he told the American.
    "That's great," the ambassador said, "but it doesn't seem much like Russian roulette."
    "Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal!!!

    Animal quickies

    Hot 5 years ago

    A tomcat told a female cat, "For you, I would die."
    The female asked, "How many times?"
    Then there was the young female dinosaur who became a "woman." She had her first century.
    A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.
    Did y'all ever wonder why mice have such small balls?
    Easy - very few of them can dance at all.
    A Mother mouse and her baby were walking by a cave when a bat flew out. "Look Ma!" said the youngster, "An Angel."
    You always hear that a camel can go 500 miles without water. How come nobody's ever bothered to see how far they can go WITH water.
    A young teen studying sex education went to the zoo and saw her first kangaroo. As she was watching, a baby kangaroo stuck its head out of the Mother's pouch.
    "Just as I suspected," the girl said to herself. "Caesareans do leave a nasty scar."
    You've all more...

    A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She's down to her last $50.
    Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
    A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
    He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
    The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
    The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, then she just fainted!"

    A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in 'Vegas. She's
    down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck!
    What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her,
    trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... why don't you
    play your age?"
    He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great
    commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back
    to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying
    limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
    The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
    The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29,
    and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"
    "Ribbit!" Scott Scheiman (408) 562-5572 Ungermann-Bass, Inc.

  • Recent Activity