Meat Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why don't vegetarian women scream during orgasms?
    They refuse to admit that a piece of meat gives them pleasure!

    two teenagers wanted to fuck but the girl had to share her room with her litte sister(they had a bunk bed)..they decided to get a code if the girl wanted it faster she would say meat... is she wanted it slower she would say bread... so the girl start yelling meat and when it got to fast she start saying bread... 5 minutes later her little sister said... can u stop making sandwiches because your getting mayonaise all over me

    A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain. Upon further inspection, he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A carpenter's brain sells for $1.50 per pound. A plumber's brain sells for $2.25 per pound. He noticed with alarm that a politician's brain sells for $375.00 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.
    The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, "Do you realize how many politicians it takes to get a pound of brains?"

    A Russian, a Pole, an American, and an Israeli are interviewed.
    The interviewer asks each, in turn, "Excuse me, what is your opinion on the current meat shortage?"
    The Russian replies, "What's an 'opinion'?"
    The Pole replies, "What's 'meat'?"
    The American replies, "What's a 'shortage'?"
    And the Israeli replies, "What's 'excuse me'?"

    A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?" The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?" The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?" The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?" The New Yorker replied, "Excuse me, but what is 'excuse me?'"

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