Backup Jokes

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    Are you a technical geek?
    Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. Do not despair! There is help! You are not alone! Whenever you feel the urge to code in Assembler, call the number in the white pages of your phone book, and we will send somebody right over to cut out paper dolls with you until the feeling passes.
    You know you are a technical geek when...
    When your friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 and you reply, "Yeah, I had V5, and it was full of bugs!"
    When driving, you see a license plate with the letters DSR, and you feel compelled to touch your bumper to the other car to see if you can raise CD.
    When you are counting objects "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, A, B, C, D...".
    When you lay down in the afternoon for a more...

    Are you a tehcnical geek? Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. Do not despair! There is help! You are not alone! Whenever you feel the urge to code in Assembler, call the number in the white pages of your phone book, and we will send somebody right over to cut out paper dolls with you until the feeling passes.You know you are a tehcnical geek when...When your friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 and you reply "Yeah, I had V5, and it was full of bugs!"When driving you see a license plate with the letters DSR, and you feel compelled to touch your bumper to the other car to see if you can raise CD.When you are counting objects "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, A, B, C, D...".When you lay down in the afternoon for a short rest, end up sleeping 4 more...

    Things You Don't Want Your Sysadmin To Say1. Uh-oh...2. Oh S***! 3. What the heck?!? 4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.6. Wow! Look at this...7. Hey! The Suns don't do this.8. Terminated?!? 9. What software license?!? 10. Well, it's doing SOMETHING...11. Wow...that seemed fast...12. I got a better job at Lockheed...13. Management says...14. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.15. What do you mean that wasn't a copy? 16. It didn't do that a minute ago...17. Where's the GUI on this thing? 18. Damn, and I just bought that Coke...19. Where's the DIR command? 20. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.21. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.22. What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press? 23. Do you smell something? 24. What's that grinding sound? 25. I have never seen it do THAT before...26. I don't think it should be doing that...27. I remember the last time I saw it more...

    While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.
    Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P.E.N.C.I.L.).
    This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input. Prior to use, the (P.E.N.C.I.L.) will require preparation and testing. Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device;and a supply of computer paper (with or without holes).
    Gripping the more...

    On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me
    A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree anyway?)
    On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me
    Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is going on?)
    And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a 10GB database!)
    On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me
    Three French users (who, of course, think they know everything)
    Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all over the net)
    And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?)
    On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
    Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over and over)
    Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over trivial things?)
    Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones they are?)
    And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's a pointer error?)
    On the fifth more...

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