Collingwood Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Garn Collingwood

    Hot 2 months ago

    I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.

    A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".

    His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.

    "Mum?"

    "Yes son?"

    "I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".

    The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the more...

    Australian Rules Football is, like the games of many countries, a game of spectator devotion. Kids are born as supporters of a team, and die that way. Especially Collingwood supporters.
    For example: Friend of mine (yes, one of those sorts of jokes) went to the Grand Final one year. Couldn't find a seat. Went into the Collingwood stand, saw and old bloke sitting next to the empty seat. Went over to him.
    "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
    "No, sit down mate"
    "How come this seat was empty?"
    "Oh I booked two seats, one for me and one for my wife"
    "Is she ill or something?"
    "No: actually she died last week"
    "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on your grief"
    "Its OK..."
    "Why didn't you offer the seat to one of your workmates or family friends?"
    "I would have done, but they're all at the funeral"

    Australian Rules Football is, like the games of many countries, a game of spectator devotion. Kids are born as supporters of a team, and die that way. Especially Collingwood supporters.
    For example: Friend of mine (yes, one of those sorts of jokes) went to the Grand Final one year. Couldn't find a seat. Went into the Collingwood stand, saw and old bloke sitting next to the empty seat. Went over to him.
    "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
    "No, sit down mate"
    "How come this seat was empty?"
    "Oh I booked two seats, one for me and one for my wife"
    "Is she ill or something?"
    "No: actually she died last week"
    "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on your grief"
    "Its OK. .."
    "Why didn't you offer the seat to one of your workmates or family friends?"
    "I would have done, but they're all at the funeral"

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