Mum Jokes

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    Hot 2 years agoby andy

    - who's that slut waving at us?
    - Nan thats mum

    Garn Collingwood

    Hot 2 years ago

    I think this family is from Broady (Broadmeadows). Broadmeadows is a suburb of Melbourne Australia with a good reputation. There is no love lost between the following 2 AFL Football Teams.

    A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel sports, the son picks up an Essendon football jumper and says to his 20 year old sister "I've decided to become a Bomber supporter i would like this for Christmas".

    His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield and says, "Go talk to Mum". Off goes the little lad with Essendon jumper in hand to find his Mum.


    "Yes son?"

    "I've decided to be an Essendon supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas".

    The mother is outraged by this and throws her moccasins and full V. B. tinnie at him, promptly whacks him around the more...


    Hot 5 years ago

    Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mum: No, dear, what? Helen: A nice teapot. Mum: But I've got a nice teapot. Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.


    Hot 3 years ago

    Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes!


    Hot 4 years ago

    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
    "You all have obsessions," he observed.
    To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
    He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
    He turned to the third Mum, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
    At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us."

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